one two three fourrrrnication!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
