yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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