I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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