I hope mine doesn't look like that
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Randomize
