I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
