I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
