Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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