Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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