I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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