Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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