I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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