aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Less talking, more tequila
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
