I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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