went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
