Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
How's work?
Spinning.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
