i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
