i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
