How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
