so explain again why im purple
no
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
