He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
