Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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