Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
