Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
