so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
