She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
