so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
