so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
