OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
