dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
