I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
