guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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