i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
