If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
True college students do jello shots in the library
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