I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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