he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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