theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
