Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
