I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
