If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
