Fuck appropriateness.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Never let your siblings swipe right.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
