I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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