Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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