Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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