Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
