don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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