so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
