Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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