Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
