thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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