hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Damn victory sex feels great
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
