How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
