you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
