Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
