Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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